Kingdom of the Neon God – Korean Konundrum

3-24-2013 Jeonju, South Korea

The Kingdom of the Neon God – a Korean Konundrum

Soul can be so geometric! A glass tsunami....a kinky building or ten.

“And the people bowed and prayed...to the Neon God they made.” ~ Simon & Garfunkel

That is what Korea feels like to me. Sometimes I think, a writer's body is like that of a woman – if the old blood doesn't come out, she feels crummy. There's something in a writer's system that makes it mandatory to distill that dry residue of one's experience periodically and let it out into the world.

Being a neophyte waygook, I've been observing the ways of Korea with the eyes of a curious, somewhat impartial outsider. And, I must say, I've NEVER been to a country with which I feel less resonance. Not ever. I now realize poignantly my naivete thinking that just because I've spent over a year trotting around many parts of Asia, Korea would be anything like them. Even remotely relatable. It is not. So much so that it might as well be Mars.

Some amazing futuristic geometry in Seoul's architecture.

Disclosure: so as not to hedge at every word, I will use “they” or “Koreans” to pertain to “most of Koreans” - naturally, there are exceptions anywhere. I am merely reflecting on the trends I observe.

Korea has once been known to the world as “The Hermit Kindgdom.” In many ways, it is still that. People are so deeply entrenched in their Korean “reality bubble,” that it's a fortune to meet a person having even a vague reference to the “outside world.” Their life rotates with a certain disheartening inevitability around the Confucian circle of their extended families, school and work. Koreans value predictability. They seek out routine.

The epitome of this routine are the schedules of Korean children. For the first couple months, I asked my kids curiously about what they did the day before or on the weekend. However, I quickly got disheartened by a robot-like recital of “I went to school, then my piano academy, then my math academy, then my chess academy, then my taekwondo academy – then I was too tired to have dinner and went straight to bed at 9:30.” All that at 8 years old. As the director of the school explained to me, once I inquired about this phenomenon: “Korean moms don't like to see kids have fun – they want them busy all the time.” Indeed!

Korea is a land of extremes. If one works – it is 13 hours a day and with a 5 day a year vacation [that the whole country takes on the SAME five days!]. If one hikes – one better have all the latest fashionable gear [outrageously expensive here] and sport it proudly, stopping every 100 metres for a barbecue. Yes, they take the grills for the purpose, complete with a few pounds of meat. And that's for a few hours' worth of hike.

There is a paradigm that is almost tangible here - “one must ALWAYS be busy. Even when one is resting.” There is an underlying sense of perpetual rush. Rush without a good reason. Rush for the sake of being busy. Work-life balance is a non-existent concept here.

People are infinitely "plugged in." Free WI-FI is ubiquitous. Several friends will be seating at the same table and all of them will be fully absorbed in their smart-phones paying no attention to each other...

I have never seen businesses come and go at the speed they do here. "Business at the speed of thought" indeed! Like mushrooms after the rain! On the two blocks between my home and work, at least 8 businesses have closed and about as many new ones have opened. In three months. There is a general sense of flux, of impermanence, of the Darwinian undercurrent. Survival of the fittest. The scent of fear is in the air.

Life is lived for the future – the future of winning a decent spot under the sun – first at a good elementary school, than middle, than high, than the University, than a glorious 13 hour a day job in some office as a “salaryman.” The rat race that puts most Western ideas of one to shame.

When I asked some Koreans about this observation – they agreed and simply said “it's because of the competition. There are so many of us here!” And it's true – there are 50 million people here on the little “thimble” of Korea. 1/3 of the population of Russia! “Why don't you consider going some place with a smaller population density?” - I asked some. “Koreans don't want to go outside of Korea to live, generally. That requires knowing English well and leaving family behind – most would rather deal with competition.”

Seoul's smart-phoning metro

If India is Yin, the gentle, the Feminine, than Korea is definitely the Yang. The harsh, cold, masculine. The knowledge here is taken in the way that business is conducted – by sheer force. The students learn by rogue memorization and soul-less repetition. Independent and creative thought is not welcome.

“Though shalt not question thine elders” - is the unspoken prime Confucian tenet underlying the very fabric of Korean life. It used to surprise me to no end when I would ask the students to back up their opinions by asking “why?” There is simply no better way to get a glassy-eyed look from a Korean student. Just ask “why?” According to an ancient local proverb, “the tallest blade of grass gets cut first.”

Koreans treat each other as family, generally. They commonly address each other as “brother/sister” or “big brother/big sister” regardless of the blood relation. Though, an occasional “old woman/old man” is also heard. Sometimes, that can become a source of much hilarity. One British expat shared that his students would call him “furry, bearded old man” [thanks to the heavy testosterone-induced vegetation on his arms] – at the ripe old age of 30.

Perchance, due to the long-term hermit status, the society here is surreally xenophobic. In a somewhat favourable way if you are a pale-faced waygook. Not so favourable, alas, if your skin is darker than that of an average Korean. Skin fairness is one of the most prized attributes in this acutely beauty-conscious society. And I don't mean natural, human beauty. I mean a very narrow ideal of beauty – one even more strict than the emaciated, airbrushed image plastered all over Cosmopolitans and Vogues of the world.

Both men and women will pay dearly to resemble this artificial beauty ideal. Tall. White. Skinny. With a square jaw for men and an pointed chin for women. With big eyes and bigger chest. Slender shins. It is not uncommon for several 6 year old kids in a class to have already had a double eye-lid surgery [for those Anime eyes – the better to see you, my dear!]. It is just as common for parents to give their daughter a rhinoplasty for her 16^th birthday or a chin-job for a son. Because that chin can give him a better shot at a job placement. Photos are explicitly requested here along with the resume. No joke.

And, as if that is not enough, many women will undergo extensive shin surgery to shave off enough soleus/gastrochnemius muscles that many will actually fall forward when they get up on those exotic-dancer-worthy high heels that many pair with their mini-skirts here, as they won't have enough muscle to hold themselves up! The plastic surgery industry is cherry-blossoming here, naturally. The Farsi proverb comes to mind: “kill me but make me beautiful!”

Being a litigation-happy Nor Cal gal, I simply observe this extreme non-PC world in wonder. Political correctness is simply not a part of the Korean vocabulary. Portly people are discriminated against without a blink, along with all the other “non-Korean” traits. Consequences of a tight bubble, I suppose. And it's very clear that this is not done out of any malice, but simply from ignorance and different value set. People will smile widely as they ask: “which one do you mean – the big/fat Shannon or the normal Shannon?”

To this moment, Korea is the most materialistic country I have ever experienced. Even more so than Russia and Vietnam. I remember once seeing a little dog that would literally turn upside down and mark trees in that inverse configuration, presumably in order to appear as a much larger dog to the potential territorial invaders. Well, when I see the crowds of posturing people dressed in brands they cannot afford and teenagers toting 1000+$ purses, the image of that upside-down dog comes to mind. One of my friend's Korean high-school students has written an essay pontificating on the materialism of the modern Korean culture. His girlfriend refused to use a purse worth less than 800 USD.

Status and hierarchy are everything in this society.

As an outsider, I feel acute awareness of this posturing. It is something I have seen in Russia 20 years ago – at the dawn of the Russian-style fierce capitalism, where the people broke lose from the socialist ways and began flaunting their new-found wealth like a child with a new and rare toy.

Kinky Seoul - Gangnam. Yes - THAT Gangnam that Psy made fun of.

It made me reflect on the few rapidly developing societies I've experienced. I have seen something similar in Malaysia as well. Though, the fierce drive seemed somewhat tempered somewhat with the warmer climate and gentle Buddhist influences, perchance. And, perchance, in Vietnam. A rapid, unconscious, fierce expansion over the course of 20 years. From 0 to the bullet-train speed. “Hungry” is the vibe that permeates the modern culture here. And I feel dissonance with that. It's a rushed, adrenaline-based way of life coming from a place of scarcity and fear, it seems. Perchance, the pendulum has to swing all the way to the other extreme after the time of extreme poverty and oppression before coming to a more tempered, more humane range...

At the same time,there are moments of unexpected kindness from folks young and old. Like when you get into a taxi freezing and an old woman on a front seat turns and takes your hands to warm them. A stranger showing another human being love. Or a young woman you just met helping you look up which bus you must take with her smart phone and then offering to give you a ride to a faraway beach. It's one of those strange dichotomies – a Korean Konundrum, of sorts! The society and country as a whole does not feel welcoming, yet some individuals are very much so.